First off, I want to thank everyone for the support on my Sugar Detox adventure. Since last night’s post, I’ve been amazed at all the kind comments and private messages you guys have sent me. SO many people, women in particular, seem to have had similar and scary chest pain/ER experiences. Some of these turned out to be heart-related but many did not. It’s amazing how many different issues create that terrifying symptom — and as I commented to one friend, the ER is really only equipped to help you if it’s a heart attack or pneumonia or a gunshot wound. From there we become our own health detectives…

So far, the detox is going well. The hardest thing up until this point hasn’t been dealing with the symptoms or the cravings, but in actually avoiding the sugar. I got so mad yesterday morning when the very first, innocent thing I consumed for the day was a cup of coffee with almond milk… I’d bought a carton of unsweetened but had a tiny bit of regular left and BAM. Sugar. Didn’t even think about it until I had drunk half the cup. I tried some cinnamon almonds today that have never tasted sweet to me before and spit them out in my hand as I read the package. They don’t have sugar (yay!) but they have sucralose (that’s worse!). It seems our natural tastes have veered so far toward sugar, salt and fat that we can’t even eat normal, healthy stuff like almonds and cinnamon without chemically enhancing them with fake sugar.

Okay, okay, the beverage industry and my many friends who work at Coke (love you guys, I really do) can go ahead and start pounding me with all the stuff about artificial sweeteners being supposedly fine for you… and I’m going to do what I do with a super-drunk person at a cocktail party: nod, smile, and switch to water as I slooooowly walk away. They may not be universally bad for everyone (though I think the jury’s still out on that), but for me personally: they don’t taste good, don’t help with weight loss, and seem to wreak havoc with my system. It drives me crazy because they’re in everything, from drinks to yogurt to gum to the damn cinnamon almonds. Maybe I have a weird allergy or something. Yeah. Allergy. Please don’t leave a flaming Coke Zero on my front lawn! [Can you tell I got accosted by a beverage industry group on Twitter recently for re-posting one of Meghan’s articles on fake sugar?]

Anyway, I have been noticing already what a slave I am to convenience when it comes to food. I don’t want to have to purchase raw ingredients straight from the farm and make my own goat’s milk ranch dressing at home in a cruet to keep all the crap out of my body. Who the heck has time for that? I also can’t drop $300 a week at Whole Foods for groceries, so the processed stuff IS easier and more affordable. It goes on sale! There are coupons! I love coupons!!!

And for a once-in-a-while choice when you’re in a rush, great. But I am noticing that I turn to fast food, quick carbs and processed crap way more often than I realized, even when I think I’m making a healthier choice. Who would think the Greek yogurt and dill dip in the produce section has sugar added? It does. Why? Are we such flavor-weenies that we can’t handle the taste of plain old yogurt without chocolate sauce and sprinkles?

I’ve overheard some commercials on TV from a company doing taste tests and advertising “Greek yogurt without the tart” (or something like that). Sorry. What? Greek yogurt is tart. It’s part of the charm. It’s what makes it different from, you know, non-Greek yogurt. It’s like  a rite of passage for dieters to learn to eat that stuff, and then brag to your friends that you eat it plain — without any of the wussy fruit compote chaser. Sort of like learning to drink straight bourbon, except you can still drop your kids off at school after you do it. I haven’t researched it because I have no idea which company that is — don’t tell me, I already have Coke mad at me, I don’t need gangs of roving yogurt executives showing up in the middle of the night flinging live and active cultures at my house — but I find it hard to imagine you can remove the “tart” from yogurt without adding sugar or some kind of sugar substitute. But that’s what people wanted, I guess…

Maybe taste-testing is part of the problem. I get why companies do taste-testing and why they want their products to taste the best. I used to work in marketing – I get that big time. Any advantage over a competitive product can mean the difference in a company’s survival – and the financial solvency of its workers, including that spunky redhead in marketing. But what about our survival? Never mind for a minute about carbs and fats and fiber: our bodies were designed to consume foods on a wide flavor spectrum, too – salty, sour, sweet and especially bitter (as in dark berries, nuts and leafy greens). Many cultures and naturalists believe that bitter flavors are critical for signaling good digestion and the bitter foods are often high in antioxidants. But in America, at least, we have moved heavily over to consuming sweet and salty things and left bitter and sour flavors in the dust. Just like when my two year old pushes all the fresh veggies around on his plate and devours the bread and cheese. It’s understandable, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

So of course companies will add sugar and salt to everything. They’re natural preservatives and they make us want to eat more of their products. What’s to argue with?

The problem for me, besides that it makes dieting harder and staying healthy far less affordable and manageable, is that I appreciate treats less when I get them. Everything I eat has already been finely tuned to optimize taste – sweet, salty, fatty or their shadow substances – and then I get used to those tastes. They don’t thrill me anymore, so when I want something sweet, I have to go for something with even more sugar and fat to satisfy that craving. A scoop of vanilla ice cream isn’t going to cut it – it’s too similar to that delicious yogurt I had this morning. Hit me with the brownie explosion! Why have a handful of nuts when you can dive into a bag of potato chips? It takes more and more of the stuff to give you the same happy effect, and then you feel terrible afterward, so you eat more of it to feel better… You can see why people are labeling this an addiction.

As I round out today’s blog, I’m becoming aware that I sound a lot more expert at all this than I really feel. You should know that all my talk about bitters and greens and the evils of sugar is mostly theoretical at this point. I’m trying to wrap my arms around a lifelong struggle and break myself of some terrible, careless eating habits in the process. I hope you find it helpful to share in the journey with me and that you’ll be sure to talk to Meghan and B.J. with any questions. (Don’t ask me. I once put Dr. Pepper and vanilla pudding mix into a batch of brownies. I have terrible judgment.)

I’m also becoming aware that I’d sure as heck better make this professional writing thing work, because I am ruling myself out as a job candidate for…. well, basically the entire food and beverage industry. What happened to that spunky redhead in marketing? 🙂

[Read the next installment of the Sugar Detox Saga here.]

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author, mom and hard core sugar addict in the Atlanta, Georgia area. When I’m not mainlining hot fudge, I blog about writing, publishing, parenthood, life and the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way.

If you enjoyed this blog, please follow along or join my Inner Circle monthly email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comment on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

MJ Pullen

M.J. Pullen is a distracted writer and the mom of two boys in Roswell, Georgia, where she is absolutely late for something important right now. Her books include quirky romantic comedies and playful women's fiction. She blogs erratically with writing advice, random observations, and reflections on raising very loud kids and dogs. Join her Distracted Readers newsletter list for updates, free content, giveaways and more.