My friend Meghan at Merge Into Health recently drugged me and forced me to sign up for convinced me to try her 10-Day sugar detox program. I’ve been trying off and on for years to eat better and lose weight, with only marginal success. Something always gets in the way: I slip and fall headfirst into a pizza, or I get trapped beneath a pile of groceries and the only way out is to eat my way through a bag of Oreos. Or I have a kid. Great for the heart and soul, not so hot for the waistline….

Well, a couple of things have come up recently that are forcing me to take a more serious look at my weight and health. The miscarriages, I’ve written about. Not necessarily due to being overweight (I’m not that much heavier than when I got pregnant with the first two), but my doctor did mention it as a possible contributing factor. Also, there are the chest pains, which I haven’t written about until now. They started in mid-January, with an attack so bad I actually hauled myself to the ER for a few hours on an otherwise beautiful Sunday afternoon. That day and in the weeks that followed I was hooked up to many monitors and took many official-sounding cardiac tests, none of which concluded anything at all. But the chest pains remain. They come, they go. They come back and stay for a few hours, then go away for a day or two, then come back all tanned and refusing to tell me where they’ve been.

I’m almost positive I have ruled out panic attacks. I used to treat people for panic attacks and if I can’t recognize one when I have it, there’s something else really wrong with me. So, according to the experts (a.k.a. everyone I’ve talked to about it plus the Internet) that narrows it down to these possibilities: esophageal ulcers, reflux, asthma, stress, sore muscles, inflamed tissue, a heart valve that periodically collapses for no reason and then recovers (!!!), pneumonia, allergies, angina (the cardiologist says no on this one, but I’m keeping it in because it sounds like a stripper name – Ladies and gentlemen, on the Center Stage…. Angina Vena Cava Jones!!), clinched back muscles, food sensitivies, clinched chest muscles, over-caffeination, quivering pulse, and last but not least…. sugar addiction.

Thus, the sugar detox. Everything I’ve heard from my health conscious friends (I call anyone in my acquaintance who actually uses a gym membership or eats leafy greens ‘health conscious’) is that the amazing amount of sugar in our modern diets – from both sweets and the myriad foods processed with sugar – is killing us slowly in creative ways we haven’t even thought of yet. That’s right, Sugar is really a mystery novelist, murdering us for money. Whether you go in for all the granola-nut, gluten-free, kale-centric diet stuff or not, it’s hard to make an argument for sugar as a health food. And it’s hard to argue that we don’t consume an awful, awful lot of it. Just go to your pantry and see how many random non-sweet things have it added.

I did, and I cried, and then I told Meghan she was C-R-A-Z-Y over our bi-weekly breakfast. Whether I had a cream cheese muffin in my hand as I said this is unconfirmed. My philosophy has always been that I’d rather live an enjoyable life than a extra-long one. Seriously, I don’t want to live in a world without chocolate. If loving Reese’s pieces mixed with hot buttered popcorn is wrong, I don’t want to be right. So, I’ll die 45 minutes sooner. A Toblerone is worth it.

Of course, that was before I spent the afternoon attached to a heart monitor at the hospital and came home to write a letter to my children in case I didn’t survive the night.

I did survive the night, though, and I’ve survived many nights since. While I haven’t figured out what the chest pains are yet, I’m pretty sure I haven’t been having a heart attack for two months. Still, whatever it is, my weight isn’t helping. My diet isn’t helping. Sugar isn’t making my life better, and if there’s a chance that whatever’s going on for me is partly due to sugar addiction, I’m going to try to break the cycle.

So, today I started trying to rid myself of the White Powder for ten days. This includes anything made with added sugar: sweets, sauces, most pastas, most bread, salad dressing (seriously??) and lots more. I’ll try to share as I come across the more surprising ones. I’m guessing that this will make me pretty cranky at first, so I’m just going to go ahead and apologize in advance for Wednesday’s post.

The sugar thing is part of an overall move toward better diet and exercise. Since the chest pains started, I have also been trying to cut back on wheat (which does seem to make things worse) and to a lesser extent, dairy. I’m using Weight Watchers Online to watch my portion sizes on the non-sugary, non-wheat stuff that often tends to be fat-heavy. And of course, I’m Jazzercising my ass off (more on that coming soon).  I’ll keep you posted. Wish me luck!

And in the meantime, please feel free to post your own theories about my random chest pains in the comments. The more hair-brained and elaborate, the better….

[Read the second installment of the Sugar Detox Saga here.]

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area.  I blog about writing, publishing, parenthood, life and the many lessons I’ve learned the hard way. I totally was never going to be that person who talks about food all the time.

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My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

MJ Pullen

M.J. Pullen is a distracted writer and the mom of two boys in Roswell, Georgia, where she is absolutely late for something important right now. Her books include quirky romantic comedies and playful women's fiction. She blogs erratically with writing advice, random observations, and reflections on raising very loud kids and dogs. Join her Distracted Readers newsletter list for updates, free content, giveaways and more.