I love birthdays, and while I always thought 40 would have to claim me kicking and screaming, I’m surprisingly relaxed about turning 39 today. Life is pretty good at the end of this fourth decade, and I have more blessings than I can reasonably count.

We have some fun stuff planned to celebrate – a special dinner with my boys that will involve cake, a big dinner out with my friends that will involve wine, and just taking some time to enjoy life. As I do so, I will be thinking of a life close to ours that was cut very, very short in 2008 — a loss to our family and the music world at large.

I’ve written before about our wonderful family friend Sean Costello, whom I knew from the time he was ten years old and copying classic rock songs in our basement with my brother on the drums. In addition to being one of the most modest, self-effacing and adorable people I’ve ever known, Sean also happened to be a music prodigy. He was inducted into the Georgia Music Hall of Fame last month for his contributions to blues music, even though he had a painfully short time to make those contributions. Sean was fortunate in many ways: he had a family who loved and supported him unconditionally, he had a talent that was recognizable from the first twang of the guitar string, he had opportunities to play with some of the greatest musicians of our time.

Sean also had bipolar disorder. It’s a disorder that strikes a disproportionate number of creative people; the same people who may have less access to diagnosis and treatment because of their professions. Self-medication with drugs and alcohol is particularly dangerous for those individuals (and countless others with undiagnosed mental health disorders). For individuals living with bipolar disorder, sometimes even trying to get help can make things worse when there’s not enough of the right support, and treatment is not specialized and customized for the needs of creative people.

After his death — the day before his 29th birthday — Sean’s family set out to try to change the odds for others like him. They started the Sean Costello Memorial Fund for Bipolar Research, an incredible organization seeking to get the word out to musicians, creatives and others about bipolar disorder, as well as to fund efforts to understand treat this disorder better.

Last month, a new album of Sean’s called In the Magic Shop (recorded in 2005 at The Magic Shop in New York City) was released. The album is a result of the efforts of many who knew and loved Sean and his music. If you are a fan of the blues, a supporter of mental health causes, or just want something amazing to play in the background while you’re cooking dinner and drinking a glass of wine, this is it. Buy it from the SCMF site and the proceeds go straight to the organization. While you’re there, get a bumper sticker or t-shirt or just tack on a donation and do some additional good.

I got my copy in the mail and have listened to it many times since. I can’t always listen to Sean’s work – hearing his voice belting out often-heartbreaking lyrics is sometimes too much for me to handle, even now. But this album is special in many ways, and I find I can’t get enough of it. The early tracks are signature Sean, bluesy and lively and beautiful. At the end of Track Seven, you can hear Sean’s laugh, which his mom Debbie shared is her favorite part of the album. His cover of Rod Stewart’s “You Wear it Well” will make you smile, and I hope you feel as I do that he’s singing directly to you. Because Angelina’s got nothing on you, either. 🙂

The last track, “Fool’s Paradise,” is poignant and hard for those of us who loved Sean to hear. At the very end you can hear Sean say “pretty good, huh?” as they wrap up the album, which will seem enormously modest after you’ve heard the rest. And that is my Sean Costello. That is how I will always remember him – a sweet boy with more talent in his pinky finger than most of us have in our entire being, with no real concept of his own amazingness. (And yeah, that’s not a word, but you get the idea).

As I lift a glass to celebrate my 39th, I’ll be thinking of the man who didn’t get to see his 29th: with love, with tears, with a smile, and always with amazing music. If you get the album, I hope it brings you half the joy it’s brought me.

xoxox

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

My books include The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels coming Fall 2015 from Thomas Dunne/St. Martin’s Press in association with Macmillan Entertainment. If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my email list.  Thanks for reading!

MJ Pullen

M.J. Pullen is a distracted writer and the mom of two boys in Roswell, Georgia, where she is absolutely late for something important right now. Her books include quirky romantic comedies and playful women's fiction. She blogs erratically with writing advice, random observations, and reflections on raising very loud kids and dogs. Join her Distracted Readers newsletter list for updates, free content, giveaways and more.