It starts out with me thinking that my scale is broken. So, I look up the company that makes it and call customer service [because everyone knows that’s my favorite pastime].

CSR: “Thank you for calling Pleasantly Plump Weight Indicator Technologies, How may I help you?”
ME:  There’s something wrong with my scale.
CSR: Could you describe the problem?
ME: Well, I got on this morning and the number that came up was lower than last week. By like 3 pounds.
CSR: Hmmm…. Did you check the battery?
ME: Yep, it’s a new battery.
CSR: Are you using the scale on a hard, level surface?
ME: Yep.
CSR: Not on carpet?
ME: No.
CSR: Is it possible you’re on a hill?
ME: In the bathroom? I don’t think so. We moved recently, do you think I could’ve damaged it in the move?
CSR: Well, it’s coming on, right? And everything else looks normal?
ME: Yes.
CSR: And you’re standing directly on the scale, not holding on to anything for balance? Like a towel rack? Lots of people hold the towel rack.
ME: Nope, not holding onto anything; both feet fully on the scale.
CSR: And you’re getting the same number every time?
ME:  Yep.
CSR: Ma’am, is it possible you might be losing weight?
ME: What?
CSR: Well, that’s one thing that can make the number on the scale go lower — if you’ve been dieting or exercising lately, your weight might go down, which could make the number go down.
ME: What?
CSR: Yes, ma’am. It sounds like you might be losing weight.

[Dumbfounded silence].

CSR: Ma’am?
ME: Yes, I’m here.
CSR: Congratulations.
ME: Um…. thanks. I guess I have been really busy lately and not snacking so much; and lots of lifting and stuff….
CSR: Good for you, ma’am.
ME: Thanks. Well, I have to go – I need to call my doctor and get in for an appointment. I want to get this puppy in the chart before it goes back up again….

*******************

This is, obviously, the most fun stage. Getting a little thrill when I step on the scale each week; watching the pants get looser; feeling so high on success I don’t even want the jelly donuts and fried chicken; enjoying scarfing down the veggies because it finally feels like they have some bearing on the end result….

Am I totally excited to be losing weight? YES! Do I feel like a champ? You bet! Does it matter that the first five pounds always come directly off my boobs? Heck no!

Okay, it matters a little. But for the most part I get so psyched about inching the number down the scale that I don’t focus too much on what’s going on in the cleavage area. That’s why G-d made generously padded push-up bras, right? And soon enough, the weight starts to disappear from other places, too, and I feel and look more balanced. Just lighter!

If I’m doing it well, this stage moves slowly, a half-pound or a pound a week, with an occasional two- or three-pounder to help me stay motivated. There are lots of weeks during this stage in which there’s no movement at all, which was totally frustrating in Stage #4, but now seems totally tolerable.

And of course, after 2 weeks in this stage, I consider myself a weight loss and nutrition expert. I have unlocked the secret! Cracked the code! If I can do it, you can, too! It’s awful, really, how quickly a little success goes to my head — particularly considering I’m about 60 pounds overweight. But it’s good, too, because that confidence in myself allows me to continue moving forward and tends to slow me down before I plow head-first into an entire package of Double-Stuffed Oreos.

There are positive cycles and negative cycles, and they both feed on themselves. It takes a lot of energy, patience and effort to turn a spiral of terrible eating habits into something more rewarding and healthy. But nothing creates that momentum in the right direction like a little bit of success. And when I start to see evidence that my efforts are paying off, I get totally excited and want to put more effort into it. It’s a positive feedback loop. Pass the reduced fat salad dressing!

MJ Pullen

M.J. Pullen is a distracted writer and the mom of two boys in Roswell, Georgia, where she is absolutely late for something important right now. Her books include quirky romantic comedies and playful women's fiction. She blogs erratically with writing advice, random observations, and reflections on raising very loud kids and dogs. Join her Distracted Readers newsletter list for updates, free content, giveaways and more.