Even in an isolated job like writing, no one truly works alone. Meet my faithful writer support staff…

Chief Security Officer: Zelda

Named for: Zelda Fitzgerald, Legend of
Breed: Boxer/Shepherd Mix
Duties: Holding down the fort, pillow warming, stair guarding, blood pressure control
Works for: Chest scratches, peanut butter
Nemeses: People walking in the cul-de-sac, balloons
Known for: Deep chill, sniffing kisses
Quote: “As long as we all agree that I was here first.”
Hashtag: #zeldathewonderpup

Director of Mischief: Zora

Named for: Zora Neale Hurston
Breed: Pit bull/Boxer?/Maybe??
Duties: Lap warming, feet licking, unconditional adoration
Works for: Ice cubes, hugs, whatever Zelda is playing with
Nemeses: The hair dryer, decorative pillow that wasn’t there before
Known for: Cheese grins, dance moves
Quote: “Are you going to eat that?”
Hashtag: #zorathewonderpup

Fake Assistant: Greg

What? You don’t have a fake assistant? Let me tell you, Greg is worth every. Single. Penny. He’s always available, always dressed for the occasion, and always loves everything I do.
Breed: Capricorn
Duties: Spam, robocalls, volunteer opportunities, light copyedits, other duties as assigned
Works for: Bitcoin
Nemeses: Adjectives, sentence fragments
Known for: Stealing chocolate, Outlander addiction
Quote(s): “Can I get you anything else before I leave for the evening?” “Incredibly, that dress makes you look both thinner and younger.”
Hashtag: #fakeassistantgreg

If you’d like to receive occasional updates from me, Zelda, Zora and especially Greg, be sure to sign up for my Distracted Readers newsletter list (and don’t forget to tell Greg when your birthday is).