Advice from the Alphabet Lady

Today I read this interview with Sue Grafton – the author of the alphabet murder mystery series, “A is for Alibi,” etc. – and she was responding to questions about her life as a writer. It’s fascinating to me, because she’s been working on the series since 1982, publishing a novel every two years. At the rate she’s going, she’ll be finishing up with “Z for Zero” (or something like it) when she’s nearly 80. I admire her dedication to the process and her struggle through the challenge and structure that a 26-part series presents.

What caught my attention was a question about retirement. Here’s the first part of her answer:

I can’t wait to retire! Everybody I know is retired, and they go on these lovely trips, and I have to sit here struggling with the next book.

What struck me with this was my reaction. I’m mildly embarrassed to admit that my first thought was, “WHAT?!? It takes two years to write each book and you can’t take a stinkin’ trip whenever you want?” My apologies to Sue Grafton, by the way, in case she should come across this posting in what I like to imagine is a regular habit of googling her own name during fits of insomnia coupled with writer’s block.

I think that reaction reveals quite a bit about me. Here I am, raising an almost 10-month old, finishing up grad school, working two days a week, and working on multiple writing projects at once. And I’m still hoping for at least a short family vacation this year. My writing is wedged between changing diapers, completing assignments, working on my therapy practice, keeping up with our often-out-of-control social schedule, and – oh, yeah – trying to keep my marriage happy and healthy. Not to mention the almost-weekly blog entry. Or training for a looooong walk. 😉

And here’s Sue Grafton, about whose personal habits I have no idea, but I can only assume that after making it from A through U of successful mystery novels, she probably can devote herself more or less full-time to writing. And I’ll hazard a guess that she gets some help with some of the daily tasks that consume my spare time (or would consume it if I had any). And still, she talks about writing as though it were not just a ‘full time job,’ but a full time job.

This really made me realize how much I’m expecting of myself; and by extension, what a tremendous challenge I have before me. Is it realistic to think I can do everything I want do to, writing-wise, with everything else I have going on in my life? Maybe. Can I finish a novel or another major project when writing is like the putty I use to fill in the little cracks in my schedule? Well, honestly…. Probably not.

Later in the interview, Grafton says that her biggest gripe about new writers is that they don’t “put in the time.” When I read that, I thought about the self discipline it will take in my own life to finish a single major project. But she went on to talk about how a first book is hardly worth notice, and to her, putting in the time means writing several books before your talent is developed enough to be worth reading. That’s a daunting point of view, and I’m trying to simultaneously respect it and take it with a grain of salt.

Everyone is different, of course — every writer, therapist, mother…. and we all have to create our own paths to whatever we define as success in our lives. But there’s no doubt that to be successful at anything, you have to dedicate yourself to it, every day. I do this with my son, regularly responding to his needs before my own. And I would never consider frivolously missing a class or not showing up for an appointment with a client.

So, how to translate that same kind of dedication and structure to my writing, a pursuit in which I am only accountable to myself? Well, I haven’t quite figured that out yet. But I suspect realigning those crazy expectations, harnessing a bit of old-school discipline and working like mad are all key components. Maybe after that, you just start with “A” and take it from there.

MJ Pullen

M.J. Pullen is a distracted writer and the mom of two boys in Roswell, Georgia, where she is absolutely late for something important right now. Her books include quirky romantic comedies and playful women's fiction. She blogs erratically with writing advice, random observations, and reflections on raising very loud kids and dogs. Join her Distracted Readers newsletter list for updates, free content, giveaways and more.

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